Open Set

Last year, I had an intense welcome to the world of restorative classroom management.

I felt like I was coming from a good starting point. I already had a habit of listening to students. I would approach them with curiosity, and try to see things from their point of view. I would have (so I thought) clear expectations and routines, and I could hold my ground. I tried to hear how my words would fall on others’ ears and avoid being dismissive, nagging, or pompous. Basic building blocks that lead to good restorative practices. 

But then I started teaching in an urban middle school, a charter school where the classroom management was beyond challenging. And I was blown out of the water. 

When I read about restorative justice, I thought it was going to involve restorative circles. Kids sharing and listening to each other. Or, if there was an incident where someone hurt someone else, you have a chance for both sides to hear each other and understand the impact of the event, and decide together what we need to do to move past it. 

But it turns out that there is a whole other side of it, something less grandiose, less likely to be made into a podcast or be a segment on the nightly news. Just, ways a teacher can keep order in the classroom without putting tension on their relationships with the students. 

My favorite practice to start with is narration. Say what is happening in the classroom, both the good and the bad. For example, “I see three phones out right now.” It sends a message. Student knows they did not get away with hiding their phone, the teacher can see it. They know that the expectation is that phones are away. (Especially if you have that on a poster in your room, and you point to it.) They hear the message about the phones, but it comes from a neutral place. 

Compare that to, “Jane, Joel and Jasper, phones away please.” Also, a very light-handed, gentle comment. But this one is a directive. The teacher is calling the students by name, and telling them what to do. If the student struggles with authority, if they struggle to manage their emotions when they are put on the spot, this comment can make a student angry and reactive. It makes the teacher into an authority figure, and for some kids, that brings up a host of emotions that get in the way of their relationship with the teacher and the learning. 

So, just the narration, maybe a reminder of the expectation, but not the directive. And over time, the classroom might become a place for students to express their full selves with confidence and peace. 

I have to admit, when I first started to try it out, I was hesitant. Mostly, it felt like I was babying the students. It’s all well and good for 2nd graders, but by middle school this would be too much. Turns out, the kids did not take offense. In fact, they often looked up calmly and changed their behavior. Not like it was the silver bullet, it just moved the needle a little. But everything that moved that needle was a big deal. 

I tried it for positive moments too. “I see 6 people have their worksheet and a pencil out. We are waiting for everyone to get there.”  Or, “I see almost everyone is sitting at their desk.” Be careful – don’t say things that are too easy for the kids to do, too obvious an expectation. For goodness sake, I don’t praise my 6 year old for making it to the bathroom on time, even though that’s what we did when she was 2. Maybe, what you need for high school would be, “I see 4 people came up with a list of ideas for question #2.” Or, “Most of you are showing your work clearly on this worksheet.” Maybe narration does level up with the kids, so long as you keep your expectations at the place where they are still learning and growing. 

If you showed me this post a year ago, when I was up to my eyeballs in disruptive 7th grade behavior and not sure how I’d survive the year, I would have laughed at you. “Just say out loud what you see? That can’t be the way to get these kids to respect me!” But here I am, offering it as advice that worked for me in the past. You know, I’m going to show this post to my coach from last year, and let her see what an effect she had on me. With any luck, I’ll be able to have the same effect on some of the teachers I have the opportunity to work with in the future.